life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
