I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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