We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
