Your tits are I can't wait for
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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