i may or may not be watching the land before time
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
