new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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