So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
