Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
