Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?