i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't want my vagina anymore.