her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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