I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.