Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.

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  (740): ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments. http://tfl.nu/bi4c
  Replies (11) Good night (4346) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker

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  (330): She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker http://tfl.nu/3dfg
  Replies (36) Good night (847) Bad night (5338)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point

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  (660): I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point http://tfl.nu/7cy0
  Replies (30) Good night (978) Bad night (4475)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  even your uterus rejects him.

  (1-562): View more from California

  apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.

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  (562): even your uterus rejects him. (1-562): apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body. http://tfl.nu/g0cm
  Replies (7) Good night (5354) Bad night (1182)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.

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  (720): I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group. http://tfl.nu/a06b
  Replies (7) Good night (5577) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."

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  (828): I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke." http://tfl.nu/rseq
  Replies (48) Good night (1441) Bad night (9866)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.

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  (908): The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one. http://tfl.nu/8bgn
  Replies (3) Good night (3101) Bad night (1148)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.

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  (501): Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money. http://tfl.nu/efs0
  Replies (5) Good night (2364) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.

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  (615): Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls. http://tfl.nu/rbr1
  Replies (13) Good night (3967) Bad night (1557)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!

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  (519): My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!! http://tfl.nu/hi1l
  Replies (6) Good night (1858) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...

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  (260): as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is... http://tfl.nu/earv
  Replies (16) Good night (791) Bad night (1334)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on

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  (360): first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on http://tfl.nu/2woc
  Replies (6) Good night (874) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.

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  (506): That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers. http://tfl.nu/8tel
  Replies (2) Good night (939) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.

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  (215): i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through. http://tfl.nu/i9fy
  Replies (1) Good night (1022) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?

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  (267): Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five? http://tfl.nu/q5fc
  Replies (0) Good night (444) Bad night (194)

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