nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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