This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
