i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
