just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
