i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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