just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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