apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Pooping to opera.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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