And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
