She said her name was "party"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
