he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
