You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
