Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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