Please, let me fuck your mom
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
