well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
