Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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