You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
