I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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