LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
