i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
We named our party play list daddy issues
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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