omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
