Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
