GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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