if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
