Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
