is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She's the barista slut.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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