Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
