Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
