wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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