love makes seman taste better
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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