Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
