If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I smell like Dick and happiness
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
