Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
