I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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