Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense

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  (313): We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense http://tfl.nu/elta
  Replies (3) Good night (1349) Bad night (604)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)

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  (403): SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :) http://tfl.nu/xxdx
  Replies (15) Good night (5981) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.

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  (706): Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully. http://tfl.nu/qn1h
  Replies (119) Good night (12459) Bad night (1198)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.

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  (828): Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying. http://tfl.nu/gcnz
  Replies (12) Good night (1056) Bad night (5419)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck

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  (503): The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck http://tfl.nu/nvzw
  Replies (20) Good night (6406) Bad night (1534)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.

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  (603): Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket. http://tfl.nu/e8ax
  Replies (4) Good night (2026) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.

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  (715): I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help. http://tfl.nu/ztsu
  Replies (3) Good night (1393) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.

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  (504): She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv. http://tfl.nu/57s8
  Replies (7) Good night (889) Bad night (1806)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.

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  (785): You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark. http://tfl.nu/p2c2
  Replies (18) Good night (1428) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls

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  (267): I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls http://tfl.nu/tagh
  Replies (1) Good night (808) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores

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  (315): I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores http://tfl.nu/za4f
  Replies (3) Good night (1001) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink

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  (402): I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink http://tfl.nu/3wto
  Replies (8) Good night (970) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts

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  (704): Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts http://tfl.nu/1f7h
  Replies (7) Good night (569) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck

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  (631): I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck http://tfl.nu/l2kc
  Replies (4) Good night (1050) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me

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  (772): Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me http://tfl.nu/3ivl
  Replies (1) Good night (438) Bad night (177)

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