Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school... http://tfl.nu/5amt
  Replies (23) Good night (4921) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them? http://tfl.nu/f0lg
  Replies (137) Good night (767) Bad night (2704)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand.. http://tfl.nu/3ekb
  Replies (18) Good night (5324) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was like, "um, that's my butthole."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I was like, "um, that's my butthole." http://tfl.nu/5utz
  Replies (32) Good night (1802) Bad night (6356)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill? http://tfl.nu/844o
  Replies (14) Good night (3732) Bad night (1775)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation. http://tfl.nu/xysv
  Replies (9) Good night (839) Bad night (2462)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode. http://tfl.nu/vudg
  Replies (4) Good night (2359) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below

  (773): View more from Illinois

  When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below (773): When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!" http://tfl.nu/bs1p
  Replies (4) Good night (1833) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend (1-775): I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman http://tfl.nu/d80q
  Replies (10) Good night (2552) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you. http://tfl.nu/3o9h
  Replies (4) Good night (2747) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere http://tfl.nu/w66n
  Replies (1) Good night (1006) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left. http://tfl.nu/846c
  Replies (3) Good night (1452) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!! http://tfl.nu/gw9p
  Replies (2) Good night (714) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low. http://tfl.nu/y5ae
  Replies (0) Good night (497) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet? http://tfl.nu/pue4
  Replies (1) Good night (725) Bad night (235)

Randomize