Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You took a bar mat shot.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
