dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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