I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
