Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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