i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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