Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(810): View more from Michigan

Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!

Fav 1 1153 1297
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back

Fav 63 2502 4330
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(502): View more from Kentucky

I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.

Fav 10 6096 1191
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.

Fav 13 1152 4906
share tweet
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(713): View more from Texas

I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"

Fav 14 2672 1665
share tweet
(641): View more from Iowa

is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?

Fav 6 3796 1806
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?

Fav 7 2269 787
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

How drunk is she?

(1-612): View more from Minnesota

She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her

Fav 1 897 581
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(410): View more from Maryland

Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen

Fav 0 87 198
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT