your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.