Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize