You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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