You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize