Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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