I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
