Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
