3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
