How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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