she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
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Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
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a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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