just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
