I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
