I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
