god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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