hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
