Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
