So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
