Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I think my moral compass just broke
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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