I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize