i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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